||[May. 14th, 2005|05:51 pm]
Jin x chaos Community
"A Moth to the Flame" |
A Jin Uzuki and chaos squenix_uni pairing FST. (For anyone who wants to know what an FST is, go to the fst community for reference.)
Jin-Side: RPed (With music conceptualized) by jyuufish (Myself ^_^V)
Chaos-Side: RPed (With music conceptualized) by shuufish (My partner in crime)
Squenix University (squenix_uni) is a institution set on the outskirts of the Nexus titled Illucia and it is where the worlds come together in order to study together. Here in this college atmosphere all of the various characters from a variety of different worlds study together, dorm together, and ultimately make friends, enemies and lasting impressions.
A candle flame stands there solitary, licking against the black night sky. A solitary moth plays around it.. dances with danger, dances with the thrill that each touch brings. Knowing that perhaps the flame could hurt him.. but not caring nevertheless.
Enter Jin Uzuki. Big man on campus, self-proclaimed jack of all trades as well as a unrepentant rake. Hiding everything behind a know-it-all grin and an air of casual arrogance.
Enter Chaos. New guy on the block. A soul sparking with fire and electricity, underneath the flow of water which powers it. An attracting force for friends and aquaintances with the ability to see into the motives of others.
They have every reason to be wary of each other. For they know that the other holds the catalyst to their downfall and the key to their souls. That they could teach each other so much, if only they would let each other in. This is a story of lust, it is a story of fear.. but it's also a story of love and trust.
This is Jin and Chaos's story.
"Ryuusei" by tIA - | Download | Lyrics |
//You are like a shining star... Like a lonely bird.//
-The song is a bit sad, but hopeful, just like the man. A star high up in the sky, untouchable.. everyone knows of him, but very few are close to him and with due reason. From his lofty position in the sky, he fears nothing.. knows everything.
"Big in Japan" by Alphaville - | Download | Lyrics |
//Things will happen while they can... // I will wait here for my man tonight. // It's easy when you're big in Japan //
-A man who flitters from bed to bed, from new expirience to new expirience. A bit jaded by his popularity and seeking nothing but what he can get in the here and now... and that applies to everything.. from friends to more intimate relations.
"60 MPH" by New Order - | Download | Lyrics |
// I don't know if I told you.. but I'm seeking sanctuary. // You never guess the things that I do.. // I'd have the devil around for tea //
-To those who loves him despite the demons that haunt him, that can overlook his meddling.. one could not have at truer friend then him. But it is all a matter if one wants the life that Jin so whole-heartedly embraces.
"Modern Love" by David Bowie - | Download | Lyrics |
//It's not really work.. // It's just the power to charm..// I'm still standing in the wind. // But I never wave bye-bye.//
-Horribly dis-illusioned by love and intent on not succumbing to it himself, he's seen hurt and pain enough in his lifetime to almost be afraid to take that chance. Despite his modern attitude, he is a bit old fashioned at heart, and he knows that his veneer is but an intricately plotted wall to which no one has breached yet, though he can feel a certain someone try to breach those walls.
"Say a Little Prayer for Me" by Breathe - | Download | Lyrics |
//I don't know what I've done with my life // I don't want to think of all this wasted time.. // I was in search of paradise.. // Yet this seems a heavy price to pay. //
-Only Jin could make a melancholy song seem happy, to be able to smile through the inner bouts of melancholy that he feels, the inner turmoil that tulmults inside of him. Smile or die, smile through inner-retribution and hoping and praying that he won't succumb, even while his mind knows that he cannot go on like this and he struggles to reach out for the hand that is offered out to him, even while it physically hurts to do so.
"Euphoria (Firefly)" by Delerium - | Download | Lyrics |
//And how I've loved // and I have served // and I have sinned // but I have learnt.. // as long as you are true to the life you live.. // this is the time to feel love //
-What he had feared as something to repress and tame him, was really something that opened up horizons that he had never thought possible. So he emmerges intact and perhaps a bit wiser for the expirience, changed and transformed from the moth to the firefly, something that can co-exist with the flame without fear of getting burned.
"Under the Milky Way" by The Church - | Download | Lyrics |
// wish I knew what you were looking for...might have known what you would find...//and it's something quite peculiar..//something shimmering and white//
-This song is lonely, the solitary seeker pondering on both the search for understanding and the almost distant quality in which this is approached. As a wander who says little of himself, a man who encourages
others to trust and yet gives his to few, he has seperated himself from others. In life he has become an observer, one who seems to be close but is actually as distant as the Milky Way itself at times.
"1979" by Smashing Pumpkins - | Download | Lyrics |
//I don't even care, to shake these zipper blues..// and we don't know, just where our bones will rest..// to dust I guess, forgotten and absorbed into the earth below..//
-Not only has he become a wanderer, keeping the slightest distance between himself and others whilst still seeming to be in the midst of things, but he is also a little resistant to having that space pierced. He seeks people who don't challenge him, who let him define the terms of trust in such a way that it is often missed exactly how little he shares. Moreover, this song has an almost timeless quality and that too is
embodied in chaos, when looking into the depths of his eyes one cannot help but wonder what he's seen.
"Leave" by R.E.M. - | Download | Lyrics |
//Better I go where land touches sea. There is my trust in what I believe...// I attain my dream, I lost myself, I lost them..// Longed for this to take me, Longed for my release, Waiting for the coming...// Leavin', leave.//
-There is a hidden layer of misgivings and desires that lay deep underneath that calm, smiling exterior, all secretly stowed away and protected from prying eyes. A need to be accepted as he accepts others, a wish to find someone, a single person to reach beneath that surface and find the person inside and fears that he will become lost if no one ever comes.
"Scarlet's Walk" by Tori Amos - | Download | Lyrics |
//I will follow her on her path, Scarlet's Walk through the violets...// just tell your Gods for me all debts are off this year they're free to leave...// If you're a thought you will want me to think you and I do//
-And then he meets Jin, knowing that he is dangerous and yet, intrigued by the surface.. the mask put forward by the other man. Sometimes he follows, sometimes he leads...always trying to dig beneath the surface
even as he knows that Jin is trying to breach his own layer of distance, and knowing that he shouldn't pursue this, continues anyway.
"Crystal Ship" by Duran Duran (Doors Cover) - | Download | Lyrics |
//Enclose me in your gentle rain,The time you ran was too insane...//We'll meet again..// Oh tell me where your freedom lies, The streets are fields that never die...//Deliver me from reasons why You'd rather cry, I'd rather fly//
-The fascination and intrigue ignite into a flame that seems so incontrollable at times, the almost desperate nature of the attraction that pulls him towards Jin is as exhilarting as it is frightening. Riding high when they are together, then descending into confusion and doubts in the meantime... this song is the fire that is lit inside him, the secret thrill of having someone so close to truly touching him.
"Sweet Surrender" by Sarah MacLachlan - | Download | Lyrics |
//I've crossed the last line from where I can't return...where every step I took in faith betrayed me..//you take me in no questions asked...you strip away the ugliness that surrounds me..//I only hope that I
won't disappoint you when I'm down here on my knees//
-After searching alone, after experiencing the odd transcendental moments with Jin, he becomes ready to walk away from his old life. Following instinct and hope, he steps willingly for idle observer into the roll of an active participant, holding all the love he has to give close to him and waiting patiently for Jin to be ready to receive it and him with open arms.
"A Matter of Feeling" by Duran Duran - | Download | Lyrics |
//Emotion's a game saved up for a rainy Monday // But you laugh just the same cause it's been pouring on Sunday//
-How many people has Jin Uzuki slept with? How many careless one night stands, how disillusioned does he remain while he smiles through that bitter curtain of ennui? And not only that but how many people truly understand him. It is like combing the sands of the sahera desert to find single droplet of water. Not impossible, but likewise never the easiest task.
"In the Blood" by Better than Ezra - | Download | Lyrics |
//How can you throw away... Everything you've lived for?//Links in a chain passed down through the years // Through the years, but ending here if we just face the pain//
-chaos enters with a sort of closed openness, the knowledge that he is closed to others and yet it is willing and wanting to traverse the distance between himself and another. At least he thinks so, in an academic sense, but doesn't really have any expectations. Will he truly be able to get break the chain of distance and be transformed?
"Strange Love" by Depeche Mode - | Download | Lyrics |
// There'll be days when I'll stray // I may appear to be constantly out of reach // I give in to sin.. because I like to practice what I preach.. //
-Initially Jin sees Chaos as a pleasant game. He spots the beautiful silvery haired boy and he instantly wants him and vows that he will have him. It is a call that he would not deny himself. A new thrill, something that he looks forward to constantly.. putting his whole soul into it until the game loses it's flavor. Jin's a sinner first and formost, a soul seeking to be saved through the tenuous threads of lust and desire.
"Astronaut" by Duran Duran - | Download | Lyrics |
//I can't imagine what happens next...//Coming on when I touch your skin...A kinda' strange light you emit// I hear your gravity pull me in.. Now your getting me out of it...// And we follow giant footprints... As we fall in, falling like twins//
-chaos sees nothing more than a fun challenge in Jin. He can tell that the other man expect him to fall straight into his hands and he is determined to resist, even though there is nothing he wants more. He is fascinated by the gravitational pull that draws him towards the dark haired sinner, flirting dangerously at the edges, daring himself to fall in.
"Gekkabijin" - | Download | Lyrics |
//In a lacquer-colored darkness, tonight's moon is beautiful. // More deeply than the darkness of my heart, you are more vividly shining.//
-Time is transcended for Jin as body inadvertantly meets soul underneath several instances of moonlight. Despite what Jin says, the moonlight has touched him in ways he cannot fathom, the beating of angel wings against his heart leaves an indelible mark that fades with the advent of the sun.. but is it truly gone.. or just blinded by the light of reality?
"More than This" by The Cure - | Download | Lyrics |
//Make-believe in magic//Make-believe in dreams//Make-believe in possible//Nothing as it seems// To see touch taste smell hear... But never know if it's real...//
-A song of secrets and dreams and hopes... there are moments of connection so true that fade almost as mysteriously as they came, both confusing and intriguing to chaos. And as much as he would like to understand, the enigma of the pull between them is alluring as it is, there is something thrilling about it, that if grasped might dispell the magic
"I'm not in Love" by DJ Skribble (Original by 10cc) - | Download | Lyrics |
// I'm not in love // So don't forget it.. // It's just a silly phase I'm going through. // And just because // I call you up // Don't get me wrong, // don't think you've got it made //
-Denial has set in and Jin is hellbent on refusing the obvious pull that Chaos has on him. Be it through a continued social whirl or deny it inwardly to himself all the time. How many times does a lie have to be repeated in order for it to become the truth?
"Sleeps with Butterflies" by Tori Amos - | Download | Lyrics |
//You say the word...You know I will find you//Or if you need some time...I don't mind//I don't hold on...To the tail of your kite//I'm not like the girls that you've known...But I believe I'm worth coming home to//
- To chaos, the attraction is undeniable and he readily accepts it as fact. Miraculously, he understands Jin's need to run and is willing to let him do so, knowing that nothing can be forced between them. He is patiently waiting for the time when he will be accepted.
"Sure" by Take That - | Download | Lyrics |
// I'm sitting here waiting for my lover // Last time we met I wasn't to sure // Now I'm hoping, maybe dreaming, for a life as one // When she reads this I'm hoping she'll call //
-After denial usually comes slow reaching acceptance. Jin finally realizes that resistance is futile, and once he faces that fear, he's able to move into the future. A future that is filled with life, light, love.. and the catalyst of all of those.. Chaos.
"Every Step" by Ben Jelen - | Download | Lyrics |
//You know me, You know my every step//Since you I feel like no one understands// I know this, I tangled with your lips // Since you the sun has gone into eclipse//
- With Jin's acceptance of him, chaos knows that they can walk together with nothing to fear, nothing to hide, knowing that whether there is darkness or light they will be secure in each other's arms.